The past few weeks have been fucking killing me at work. It’s the busiest month of the year, and two people from my team left at the start of the month. I get home and am a dead thing, too tired to move or think. This on top of having to look for a place and move. It doesn’t stop there, because next week the Fall semester starts, which is another busy time at work! This ‘day job I can stand’ has turned into what every day job I’ve ever had has been: soul-crushing.
There. That said, I, like thousands of years of Christian peasants, am enduring the hardships of the present in hope of future pleasures. (I should point out that I am not a Christian peasant.) I have made a solemn vow to myself that by this month next year, I will be ready to quit full time day jobs forever and be supported solely by creative work. It’s a tall order for 12 months, coming off of years of creative paralysis, but not impossible.
To jump-start me from the scattered stories and sketches that I do now to producing finished work, I will write two novels by the end of the year. September and October I’ll be writing a zombie novel, and if it doesn’t suck I’ll be submitting it for publication. Then in November, I’ll participate in NaNoWriMo, probably fleshing out a sci-fi short I wrote this past weekend. Whether I deem them worthy of submission or not, I will start and finish in the time specified.
Then in December I’ll take it easy a bit, and begin prep work for a webcomic opus I’ve had brewing in my head for awhile. In January I’ll do a shorter piece to practice, a webcomic I’ll update every weekday in January based on a fragment I sketched out last year (which is indebted to Peter Blegvad’s Leviathan, although it is nothing like it, and an abandoned storefront I liked walking by in Berkeley.)
This implies that during January I’ll be in the process of rebuilding my comic/art site (currently down) to prepare for the webcomic I’ll start in Feb/March (depending on website stuff) which I’ll update two times a week (maybe more once it gets rolling). FOREVER.
All this is assuming that I have no major impactful life changes and do not win the lottery, in which case all of these things will still happen, but the schedule will get wonky due to my touring the world in luxury.
Let me know if you want to help edit some novels, build a website about my work, or support me financially for years. Should I win the lottery and am able to take companions on my travels around the world, I’ll let you know.
Great nations are simply the operating fronts of behind-the-scenes, vastly ambitious individuals who had become so effectively powerful because of their ability to remain invisible while operating behind the national scenery.
-R. Buckminster Fuller (Honestly, I got this from a website and haven’t fact-checked the quote, but I like it)
I survived moving all my stuff I haven’t seen in two years from DC to Brooklyn, then moving everything across Brooklyn. I fell asleep putting a shelf together last night. I got an iPhone just before the move, and it’s currently my only internet at home. Today is more Ikea furniture, and maybe selling some records to a store.
[make no mistake, this is about making yourself / after being sick all week…maybe it was the cold medicine…our office oddly crowded with bodies all day…then they left, and i turned to put music on…later it struck me, that’s when that feeling began. perfectly summed up by the universe, later…at the shopping center bathroom, I turned to leave the stall…and there on the floor, a perfect magic safety pin…the exact size I used to pin through my shirt…right above my nipple…when I was that perfect punk, unawares]
I saw I’m Not There today at the Film Forum, and I do not hesitate to say that it is one of the cinematic events of our time. It’s all the things that a great film, great song, and all great art, should be: poetic, beautiful, historical, mythic, a journey, chaotic, instructive, and reflective of both past and very current concerns and cultural dialog. I don’t even think you have to know or care about Dylan to enjoy and appreciate it. I’ve always liked Todd Haynes for his ideas and for the cinematic conventions he both loves and defies. All the glimmers and occasional bright bursts of promise in his earlier work are completely realized here.
The only thing that stuck out as remotely wrong were one or two lines delivered falsely, but these were immediately forgotten; any great, far-reaching piece of art must consume vast resources to reach its goal, which is bound to show in a spot or two. On second thought, in a movie so much about persona and acting and identity, those one or two lines may not even by flaws.
I love this quote from Matmos’ “The Civil War: A User’s Guide” (referring to their album of that name that I’m currently listening to over and over), linked to in my last post; this is under track 7, Pelt and Holler, about field recordings of grass sounds:
“ We recorded said landscape on the side of Bernal Heights Hill near our home in San Francisco. It was sadly quite difficult to ever record any quiet sounds at all, as noise pollution from the city reigns supreme and covers everything in a continual blur of automotive modernity. More electric cars=a quieter city, better field recordings.”
I’ve been asked several times recently which candidate for president I support, and I’ve had to answer honestly that I don’t know. I mean, I support Dennis Kucinich with all my heart, but I don’t know if he’s electable in our idiot-crowded, shallow, appearance-obsessed nation who have been hoodwinked by the corporate profiteers to be blind to any meaningful change. What I usually say after that is that I don’t know enough about the other candidates to know which one is the least awful.
I figure it’s time I started learning, and keeping an eye to whether Kucinich may actually *be* electable (he’s the only person besides Kerry to get votes in the Democratic primary ’04 if I remember correctly.) I was procrastinating in my job search a little this morning, and followed a link to a test which compiles data from 2decide.com, neither of which I’ve vetted in any way, but both seem helpful.
My test results were predictable, but I was a little disappointed that neither of the candidates getting lots of press (Obama and Clinton) agreed with me on some pretty key issues (Patriot Act, Same-Sex Marriage, Border Fence). Kucinich scored the most points in agreement with me, 69, and had no disagreements. The next down is Gravel, with 48 points (a much less sexy number), who I’ve never heard of but am going to look into a little bit. Edwards was next, but we disagree on too much.
During the composition of this post, the exact shape and nature of my own cowardice has become clear to me. I think from now on I have a really simple answer to the question of what candidate I support, and it’s time to see if there are any openings in his campaign in NYC. It’s funny to think that a few years ago, I assumed I’d vote for a woman, any woman, or a person of color, because I assumed they would signify the most change. Perhaps my opinions have changed because some people give up too many of their ideals to get ahead. Perhaps I’ve just grown up. Anyway, I’m pretty sure who I’ll be voting for.